If you had troubles getting pregnant or keeping a pregnancy, chances are your parenthood anxiety isn’t exactly “typical” -- even if being a mom or dad is the best experience of your life.
I’m not quoting studies here, but I think it’s safe to say that virtually all people who struggle to have a baby think (or even say out loud), “Once I get pregnant, everything will be great!” And that’s followed, of course, by “Once I have this baby, everything will be great!”
I was thrilled to finally be the honored guest at a baby shower! But after all the trouble we’d had getting to that point, I was also a bundle of nerves. Sure, I had moments of gestational joy mixed in with my new-parent panic, and what mom-to-be doesn’t? But I learned that I and my other “circle of hope” friends seemed to experience pregnancy like tiptoeing on an exquisitely beautiful frozen pond.
And then guess what happened? We treated our adorable, much-wanted babies like delicate ice sculptures.
After years of employment back then as a social worker with children who were usually more “oops!” than “can you believe finally?!”, I figured there’s nothing wrong with wanting to envelope my precious offspring in comfort, happiness, peace, and joy. The only problem: I was so anxiety-ridden about trying to accomplish that feat, it was impossible. Almost.
Being an “awesome parent of precious children” is a complex jewel. The first step to whole enjoyment of the experience’s beauty is to fully recognize that neither getting pregnant nor having that baby (finally!) will make “everything great” -- different, maybe. Great, sometimes.
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